I am in an ordered state of my limited perception, which will be in another state for there is no past, there is no present and there is no future, these exists in my limits of perception.
- I am a living being different from non-living beings around me, but similar to other living beings around me (acquired from knowledge)
- I am a body that gives me my identity
- I am a soul that gives me the hope that I am living
- I am built from the knowledge that I have gained
- I am a father, a son and a husband
- I am the cells that make up every organ of my body as well as the body
- I am the atoms that make up the elements that make up the cells, that make up my body
- I am the sub-atomic particles that make up the atoms, that make up the elements, that make up the cells which make up the body
- I am the strings of energy that make up the sub-atomic particles, that make up the atoms, that make up the elements, that make up the cells; which make up my body
- I am that energy; a constant according to physics
- I am the nothingness that is filled with this energy
- I am that which utilizes this energy
- I am a collection of that which all claim to exist in the world obtained in their limited perceptions
- I am my own perception that makes all these thoughts prevail
- I am an ever changing state, limited to the perception of a current state that I am in
The deeper I look, the more I realize that I was not what I am before I started writing this down. Based on my limited perception I will rather adhere to energy, a constant that no living being like me can understand or rather why I should need to know what I am.
I am a state which changes as a thought emerges, because for a thought to emerge and represent itself, there energy consumed by the cells of my body that are made up of elements, that are further made up of atomic and sub atomic particles further broken down to be imaginative strings or bundles of energy. Every layer of me consumes this energy that exists. If I unwrap myself, I am made of energy that can dissipate into nothingness that which itself is filled with energy. Energy that cannot be quantified, hence I am an unlimited source of energy; a constant that will never be known under the limits of my current perception.
Comparing me to a piece of paper, we both are made of elements, atomic and sub atomic particles and strings of energy that are defined within the realms of science, but why am I then called as ‘living’ and a piece of paper ‘non-living’. Chaos within nothingness gives rise to an ordered state, which exists in both of us, but the ordered state multiplies; it gives rise to my living state. My perception is limited to my senses which is a sketchier view of my ordered state, but perceiving myself in an disordered state, is my raw state that is similar to the state that a piece of paper is currently in. The change of state is infinite for both of us, because there is no way to determine how many dots exist between two dots, or how many musical notes exists between two notes or how many number points exist between 0 and 1; there is no limit. To limit my perception to a level of understanding I push the infinite to a finite until I am convinced; which is where my perception arises.
What is the time that I take to support my perception? Time is a dimension just like the other dimensions that may exist and that I cannot perceive within the limits that I consider as limits. The chaos of nothingness is an indefinite change from one state to another which I suppress with my perception of the uni-directional arrow of time. The randomness of time can put me into any state I long to be, but my perception is what defines the order to this randomness; I can be energy and I can be my body; or I can be both, for I am energy that moves from a state of randomness to a definite ordered state. I am the source, but can change within the source. I am blind-folded within my perceptions and knowledge from what I actually am.
Seeking within the limits of my perception is the destroyer of my will to know more because the moment I seek I am not what I feel that I am. A change in state is a change in me, is a change in dimension which I shall perceive when I change my state of perception, for every dimension has its limits of perception. Seeking something more than what I have is like being stuck in the loop of infinity, for the state cannot be pinned to one state and seeking it creates a void within me. There is therefore no beginning nor there is an end within the vast expanse of nothingness, I am in an ordered state of my limited perception, which will be in another state for there is no past, there is no present and there is no future, these exists in my limits of perception.
Contzen Pereira, Ph.D. Independent Scholar, Mumbai, India. Email Address: firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com